Open Parent-Teen Communication

By Debra DeHoff, Mentoring in the Arts Program Supervisor Police Athletic League of Greater Reading, Parents' Source, September 20, 1998.

Communicating with our children, specifically with teens, continues to challenge many of us who work in the field. Finding ways to communicate effectively is a day by day process.

Open communication is essential to a working relationship between parent and child. Achieving that goal and keeping it, comes from careful planning and daily commitment. First, the parent must want communication to be open and be prepared to allow time into their schedule for that to take place. Expecting communication to be open exclusively during times of trouble, will only set you and your teenager up for disappointment. Schedule time daily for talking and sharing the days events. Positive, non-eventful conversations will provide the foundation for trusting
each other.

When difficult times arise during the teenage years, the groundwork you built by spending meaningful conversation time, will come into play. Topics which may find themselves uncomfortable to both parent and child, may be minimized through a long comfortable chat. Staying focused on the subject matter will ensure the proper information is given and received by both parties.

Parents need to remember that they are not alone. Surround yourself with positive peers, and don't hesitate to rely on close friends and relatives for support.
Make open communication a priority on your everyday list of activities with all family members. Research what it takes to be a good listener, learn these skills, and then teach your teenager. Do notbe afraid to make changes, and most important, capitalize on enjoying daily life with your teenager, because tomorrow may be too late.

There are many books of reference and good reading for parents of teenagers, some of which are listed below:

• "Wonderful Ways to Love a Teen . . . Even When It Seems Impossible"
  By Judy Ford
• "Making Sense of Your Teenager, Understanding Your Teenager's Changing body, Mind, and Spirit"
  By Lawrence Kutner, Ph.D
• "The Essential Guide to the New Adolescence (How to Raise an Emotionally Healthy Teenager)"
  By Ava L. Siegler, Ph.D
• "You and Your Adolescent, A Parent's Guide for Ages 10 ­ 20"
  By Laurence Steinberg and Ann Levine
• "The Seven Year Stretch (How
  Families Work Together to Grow Through Adolescence"
  By Laura Scribner Kastner and Jennifer Fugett Wyatt

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