G.I.V.E. for Kids: Peace Talks

by Elizabeth Horbal, Parents' Source, November 20, 2002

Violence in our schools is an issue that alarms and disturbs parents and educators alike. We all worry about reports of violence and wonder what we can do to prevent them in our own children's schools. The Pennsylvania Bar Association, in cooperation with the Attorney General's office, has come up with a solution that is being implemented across our state. ProjectPEACE was designed to form a working coalition between educators, parents, and attorneys, to promote peaceful conflict resolution.

Each year, schools across Pennsylvania are invited to participate in the ProjectPEACE conference. This three-day workshop is open to thirteen schools annually, one from each of the Bar Association's geographical divisions within the state. Schools are represented by teams consisting of a principal, a guidance counselor, a teacher, a parent, and an attorney. These teams are given the resources and support needed to develop Peer Mediation programs in their schools. Some 40 schools from across Pennsylvania have taken part in this valuable conference, with thirteen more to be selected this year.

Peer Mediation is a process by which students can help each other to resolve conflicts. Students who become mediators agree to undertake instruction and training in the skills needed. Most programs train mediators in the areas of active listening, paraphrasing (restating) ideas, recognizing and naming emotions, and remaining calm under difficult circumstances. They learn and rehearse this process repeatedly. Many groups have regular meetings to refresh their skills.

The process begins when there is a conflict between two students. An adult, another student, or the disputants themselves can initiate a Peer Mediation referral. When they agree to mediation, two students and two Peer Mediators or Conflict Managers find a quiet place, with adult supervision, to conduct the mediation. Peer Mediators are supplied with scripts of the mediation process, in order to keep both the mediators and the disputants on the right track.

The process consists of five basic steps. In the Introduction, the Peer Mediators explain who they are and what their job is, usually in a statement like "We are Conflict Managers, and our job is to help you to solve your problem. Would you like us to help?" They then explain the Ground Rules, to which both disputants must agree. The disputants must agree to not interrupt one another, no name calling or insults, be honest, and work to solve the problem. Some schools may add other rules that pertain to their situation, but these four are standard for mediation.

Next, the mediators help to Define the Problem, a process in which each disputant gets a chance to state both the facts and his or her feelings about the conflict. The mediators restate what they heard the disputant say, so that everyone is clear about what the problem is. Once the problem is defined, conflict managers Find Needs. Each disputant is asked, "What do you need to have happen in order to feel that this problem has been solved?" After each disputant has identified his or her needs, the mediators move on to Finding Solutions. In this step each disputant is asked "What can you do now to help solve this problem?" When one disputant offers a solution, the other is asked, "Is that okay with you?" If both cannot agree to the solution, the mediators take the process back to Finding Needs, and begin again from there. Once both students in dispute have offered and agreed on a solution, they are asked if they feel the problem is solved. Then the mediators remind them to tell their friends that the problem is solved, in order to minimize problems recurring because of encouragement from others. The mediators thank the participants for doing a good job, and the mediation is finished.

Peer Mediation trainers look for mediators who are willing to work hard, be good listeners, and who understand the need for confidentiality in the program. Peer Mediators always work in pairs, and mediations take place only when an adult is present. Conflict Managers are also taught when to cut a mediation short, and ask for adult assistance in order to maintain personal safety.

Schools that use Peer Mediation programs generally report a decrease in fighting and discipline referrals, and an increase in students' abilities to find alternative, non-violent solutions to conflicts. Students gain confidence in their own and in their peers' problem-solving skills, an important step on the road to responsible adulthood.

Elizabeth Horbal is a Guidance Counselor at Brecknock Elementary School in the Eastern Lancaster County School District.

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