A New Kind of Christmas Gift

Ah, the holidays are coming, and we can feel it already: the anticipation, the shopping, the buying, the getting, the giving. Nothing quite beats the feeling of watching our children come down the stairs - their faces light up as they see the gifts piled high. It's exciting all right - so exciting that after all the gifts are opened, the batteries installed, and the wrapping paper thrown away, one can't help but feel a twinge of disappointment. The anticipation is gone, the beautiful tower of gifts is gone, and what's left is a pile of toys and games which do not quite bring the joy that we had hoped for, and for which there is not enough room on the already crammed shelves. While my children might not admit it, I can see it in their faces. I can almost hear Peggy Lee singing in the background: "Is that all there is?"  

This year I decided to turn that feeling of disappointment around. I wondered, "What would happen if we gave and received gifts that had real meaning to them? Gifts that lasted beyond the first few weeks of January?" I 'm not wishing to go overboard with this - I can appreciate that my son REALLY wants Ninja Turtles, even though there is no deep meaning or value to Donatello. These action figures just happen to make my son very happy, and I wouldn't want to take that away. Instead I decided to start this idea on a smaller scale: the annual gift exchange with the cousins.  

Every year my sisters and I buy gifts for each other's children. And every year we scramble. What could my 16-year-old niece possibly need or want that she doesn't already have? The same goes for my own children. I have to page through catalog after catalog to find something that my sisters can buy for them. So this year, I am proposing that we take the money we would have spent on needless gifts and give it instead to charity.  

I must admit, it's been a hard sell. When I suggested to my sisters the idea of contributing to a charity instead of buying gifts, I was surprised that the response was lukewarm, at best. It's hard to give up the gifts, I know that. No matter, this is my idea; I'll try it out, and show them how great this can be.  

Next, I had to convince the real potential hold-outs: my children. How would they feel about putting money to a good cause rather than purchasing gifts for their relatives? And how would they feel about receiving one or two less presents for Christmas? I thought back to Halloween. Remember the UNICEF boxes our kids toted around? Before my son returned the box of coins he had collected, I encouraged him to put some of his own money in the box. He hesitated, in fact pretty much refused, until I read the side of the box to him: just 30 cents provides lifesaving antibiotics for a child suffering from pneumonia, $1 can immunize a child against polio for life, $10 provides enough high-protein biscuits to feed 3 hungry children for a month, and so on. As soon as my son heard specifically how his coins could help those in need, he was dashing upstairs to empty his piggybank. My daughter overheard the conversation, and threw in a dollar. I knew I was on to something. If my children can see specifically how their money is spent and what someone is gaining by giving to charity, they might more easily "buy in" to my plan.  

The perfect prop arrived a few days later in the form of a catalog from "Heifer International". Did you know that you can buy a "share" of a heifer for $50? That heifer will provide milk for many years to a poor family in another country. Or how about a flock of chicks for $20? Now this was a way to make giving more personal.  

A little more searching revealed a number of charities who are happy to break down your contributions into meaningful gifts. We've included them here. Of course, everyone has their own favorite charity, and it's important to support those. The point is to make the contribution real, so kids can really see what they are buying.  

My children had fun choosing what we would purchase for their cousins, knowing full well that instead of a wrapped present they would really be receiving a card acknowledging the contribution. We didn't give up entirely on gifts: we thought it might be fun to send a small present to inform them of our contributions. My daughter is sending an inexpensive wool scarf to her cousin, signifying the gift of a llama from Heifer International. My son sent a box of nails to his cousin to reflect the contribution to Habitat for Humanity.  

This is an experiment. It may take a while to get used to one less present under the tree. But I'm confident my children (and their cousins) will get used to the idea, especially as they see specifically what they are giving. And I'm confident they can feel good that because they were willing to give up one or two presents, a child somewhere in the world is going to bed after having eaten a decent meal.  

And I feel better. A gift to charity will continue to last, even after the last ornaments are boxed up, and the wrapping paper is stowed away. And I'll have a few less toys to have to cram on to the shelves.

Some suggestions:

www.catalog.heifer.org: Explore the many gifts you can purchase through "Heifer International". This site does an excellent job of explaining specifically how your donation helps those in need. They will send a gift card acknowledging your gift.

www.habitat.org/donation/gfth: This is the site for Habitat for Humanity's "Gift From the Heart" program. Although they do not specifically break down how your money is spent, building houses is a pretty simple concept for kids to understand. They will send a card to your recipient.

www.doctorswithoutborders.org/donate/what.cfm: This site from "Doctors Without Borders" will detail how your money is spent. For example, $35 provides 2 high-energy meals a day to 200 children.

www.crsgifts.org: The site of Catholic Relief Services. This site details 56 different projects for which your money may used. They will send a personalized gift card.

www.unicef.org: Most kids are familiar with UNICEF because of the Halloween boxes. Go to this site, and then in the search box type "Halloween". There you will find a specific listing of how the money is spent.

by Martha Wegner

Parents' Source, December 2005 Tri-County edition

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