G.I.V.E. Get Involved, Volunteer in Education

A Chance to Contribute

This is the third article in a six part series on the virtues of Building Assets by Rachel M. Loeper, Parents' Source, January 20, 2002.

If you raise your children to feel that they can accomplish any goal or task they decide upon, you will have succeeded as a parent and you will have given your children the greatest of all blessings. - Brian Tracy, author of "Success is a Journey: Make Your Life a Grand Adventure".

Children must feel safe and secure in their environments. This security, in turn, allows them to feel valued by their community and gives them opportunities to help others. Out of safe environments grows a positive sense of personal identity. Young people begin to sense their own tremendous power, purpose, worth, and promise.

This is the third of six Parents' Source articles examining the 40 assets, or building blocks of human development, that help young people grow up to be healthy, principled, and caring individuals. Many of these assets emphasize the importance of empowering children to make a difference in their own lives and the lives of others.

Did you know?

If you think that today's adults don't value young people enough, you're right. According to a recent survey of 2,600 adults and parents, only 37 percent of Americans believe that today's children, once grown, will make this country a better place.

Boys are much more likely than girls to report having the "Self-Esteem" and "Sense of Purpose" assets.

Let's change that???

• Safety is the beginning of empowerment. Begin to teach children about safety as soon as they are mobile. Establish simple but firm rules about answering the telephone, opening the door, spending time at home alone, using appliances, watching TV, surfing the Internet, and respecting curfews.
• Make sure your children know the names and addresses of neighbors you trust, where they can go if they need help.
• Walk or drive your children's friends home after dark, even if they live nearby.
• Encourage your kids to talk about run-ins with rude adults, and make sure they know you're on their side. Role-playing positive ways to deal with negative situations will prepare them for bad attitudes they might encounter, and will encourage the "Community Values Youth" asset.
• Instead of buying gifts for every holiday and birthday, commission your children to make some of them. Or turn a household project into a learning opportunity by asking your child to help you build a birdhouse, fix a bike, or plant a garden. When you begin to see the many diverse ways kids can help, you can consider yourself an advocate for the "Youth as Resources" asset.
• Invite your children to join you on community service projects and you will be giving them the "Service to Others" asset. Some ideas for service that your kids might enjoy are: growing fruits and vegetables for homeless shelters, preparing home-cooked meals for single, expectant mothers or elders, working with her school to get student artwork and murals displayed, or cleaning up and restoring a local park or nature trail.
• Remember that service doesn't have to be organized. It could simply be your 12-year-old reading to her five-year-old neighbor once a week.
• Encourage young people to get involved in change. An answer to the complaint "There's nothing to do in this town" might be, "What would you like to do?" "What can you do to make that happen?" Suggest that he write a letter to the mayor or newspaper editor.
• Identify with children the differences between things that they can control and things that they cannot. (Example: "I can control what I say. I cannot control what other people say.") This will give them a sense of the scope of the "Personal Power" asset.
• Discourage teen bashing. Many adults are uncomfortable around teenagers because of images played up by the media. As a result, they feed teenagers negative images of themselves. Don't let other adults make those kinds of comments around you or your child and you will be supporting their "Self-Esteem" asset.
• Support teens as they explore issues of meaning, purpose, and vocation. Talk often about schooling after high school, career choices, life relationships, and values. Tell them what gives your life purpose, and you will reinforce their "Sense of Purpose" and "Positive View of Personal Future" assets.

Think about something that you did as a child or adolescent that you still find amazing. What adults gave you the power to do it? How did the accomplishment affect your positive self-identity? How could you empower young people in the same way?

Food For Thought: (Discuss these questions with some children or teens that you know.) 1. Do you feel valued by our community? 2. Are you given useful roles in the community? 3. Do you serve others regularly? 4. Do you feel safe at home, at school, and in your neighborhood? 5. Do you have control over things that happen to you? 6. Do you generally feel good about yourself and feel that your life has purpose? 7. Are you optimistic about your future?

Ideally, all children would answer "yes" to all these questions, but we must be realistic optimists. Find out where children in your community do not feel safe, empowered, or valued, and talk to the adults with authority in these realms. Begin opening eyes, and changing attitudes.

Children who have families, neighbors, friends, educators, and community residents who see the best in them are more likely to bring out the best in themselves and those around them. It works like a mirror; if you show your kids how awesome they can be, they will show you how awesome they are!

A complete list of the 40 assets can be found on Parentssource.com. This article was submitted by Rachel M. Loeper of the Healthy Communities/Healthy Youth Initiative at United Way of Berks County. For more information on the 40 assets and the local HCHY initiative, contact Sharon Mast at the United Way, 610-685-4574 or sharonm@uwberks.org.

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